Trouble in Carson City

Music Man Ditty Updated

Trouble in Carson City: One of my favorite musicals is “The Music Man.” One song in particular, “Trouble in River City” tells of problems in a bucolic little town. Nevada’s capital, Carson City, is the home (more or less) of Governor Jim Gibbons, former Delta Airlines pilot who was reportedly fired by Delta for missing too much work, then rehired after a reported ethical lapse over some alleged favors over a fuel tax. During his gubernatorial campaign there were allegations of his forcing affections on a cocktail waitress after a bout of drinking, and once in office, he left his wife and moved out of his home (the guv’s mansion, that is). A presidential election is coming soon. This is just too good not to have a song about, so in deference to Professor Howard Hill, we’ll do our own version of “Trouble in Carson City:

Well, either you’re closing your eyes to a series of fiascos you do not wish to acknowledge or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster in the State of Nevada by a Governor who reached a 28% approval rating in just five, count ‘em f-i-v-e months – a feat that took our President five YEARS to accomplish! You’ve got trouble, friend, right here in Carson City. Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with G and that stands for “Guv.”

Sure I’m a voter. Mighty proud to say I’m mighty proud to take part in my right as an American citizen. Why I proudly display my “I Voted Early” sticker on the front window of my eco-friendly desert dwelling. I consider the hours spent researching political candidates and issues as golden. Helps you cultivate horse sense and a keen eye to read the ballot and eliminate any possibility of a hanging chad.

But just as I say it takes judgment, brains, and maturity to properly serve the people of the great state of Nevada, I say any fool can trick the public into getting elected. And I call that Nevada politics. The first big step on the road to feeding off the lobbyists of Washington Dee Cee.

I say to you, first it is a sip of wine at dinner with a group of friends, then after each one has ordered a round of booze you end up in a wrestling match with a cocktail waitress and try to blame it on not being able to find your car in a dark parking garage.

And the next thing you know he’s been voted into office and the state ends up with a half billion dollar deficit. Friends, you done elected a buffoon, that’s buffoon with a capital B and that rhymes with G and that stands for Guv.

Then week after week he gets to fritterin’ I say, fritterin away his time on the Official State Computer, going to the web sites of his old cronies who take him on vacation and treat him royally, which some say is in exchange for political favors. Yes, friends, you’ve elected a governor that’s ethically challenged, I say challenged with a capital C and that rhymes with G and that stands for Guv.

But wait, there’s more. Amid his budget slashing and taking money from schoolchildren the Guv decided to move out of the mansion and left Dawn to run the house. She asked what he was doing and he replied that he wants a divorce. A divorce, friends, with a capital D and that rhymes with G and that stands for Guv.

Voters of Carson City, heed the warning before it is too late. Watch for the telltale signs of corruption. An election is coming up this fall. Does your candidate have a record of being wined and dined by lobbyists? Has he or she made promises to the constituency that cannot be kept? Then has dinner with big donors whose huge donations help to renege on those promises? And do certain words creep into the conversation? Words like, “Tax cuts,” and “Big oil profits.” If so, you’ve got trouble friends. Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with E and that stands for Election.

So the next time an opportunity arises to vote for a candidate, don’t get fooled. Demand more disclosure. That’s disclosure with a capital D and... well, you get the idea.

A little blogging music Maestro.... Kate Smith singing “God Bless America.”

Dr. Forgot