No House Like a Ho-Ho-Ho House

You'd Better Watch Out

You'd better not cry, I'm telling you why. Repo sales are coming to town. The banks are making a list and checking it twice and they'll figure out whose payments aren't nice. Then more foreclosures will make owners frown. If you bought your home on margin, and paid no money down, when lenders threw their cash around like candy from a clown. If the rate you got's adjustable the piper must be paid. The mortgage ain't combustible and your payments will not fade. So unless you're Steve Wynn or one of those guys, like Ed McMahon with a million dollar prize, you will realize that "foreclosure's" a noun.

Much media has been focused on the housing slump. Of course, that, along with the ex-cop suspected of offing a pair of wives and so-called candidate debates conspire to take our minds off the thousands who have died and tens of thousands of American soldiers who have been injured in the Middle East. It makes one wonder just how bad the housing crisis is. One thing is for sure, in my neighborhood housing asking prices have fallen up to a couple of hundred thousand dollars and the five homes for sale at the moment have been so for months, or in one case, years. However it is difficult to tell how many homes that are foreclosed upon will place owners on the street and how many are owned by investors who bought to flip.

Still the Las Vegas population seems to be growing by about 6,000 new residents each month and job growth remains above the national average. That rate of growth (more than 70,000 new residents each year) has continued for more than a decade. That rate of growth has caused the infrastructure problems that one might expect - the opening of a new school every month, roads being built, then overcrowded, torn up, and rebuilt, and shortages of water. But it has also resulted in higher density housing. Apartments and condos that rarely exceeded two stories are now being stacked higher. And for the people who lose their houses? Some will leave, but the majority will stay and move into rentals.

Times they are a changing in Las Vegas and throughout the country. The answer now is the same as it was in the previous elections, "It's the economy, stupid." But the more pressing questions are when will we start to bring our soldiers home in a one horse open sleigh instead of in caskets and how will we know when we've won the war?"

Dr. Forgot

Is The Juice Turning Sour?

Will The Juice Have Juice in Vegas?

Juice is a Vegas term. It means political connections, drag, pull, influence. But a bad choice Minute Made Orange Juice, aka Orenthal James, aka OJ Simpson the talk of the town. Many think the former knife pitcher is guilty of bringing down Miss Brown in L.A town. Was OJ guilty? Jury says "No," Mr. Man of Gold says, "Not only yes, but Hell Yes!" Seems like the away crowd knew the Juicer was a stabber but the home crowd waved off the penalty and avoided the big Hertz. But that was long ago and far away. While the country withered at a mis-justice, the Juice did anything but wither on the vine. In fact, he moved to the state that resembles a flaccid male member and added vitamin G for golf and proceeded to live happily ever after.

But a funny thing happened to him on the way to retrieve his memorabilia. He got busted. Both of his two faces showed up on the TV screen - the one in which his profanity-laced diatribe bullied memorabilia salesmen into submission, and his TV persona side which appeared in the courtroom humble and contrite as a lad whose hand was caught in the Sunday collection plate. The pony-tailed young judge, son of a seasoned veteran judge who a few years earlier had sentenced Binion murders to the gallows (they were later set free) told the Juice man that he needed to return to the Valley of the Dollars for arraignment. And so he did.

In what resembled a cocktail party, with the OJ half of the screwdriver mingling with reporters the judge met behind closed doors with his high powered attorneys. As for the old Buffalo Bill, he then mingled with others in the courtroom, regaling his son's athletic ability, discussing Thanksgiving dinner, smiling and wishing anybody who would listen, "Happy Holidays." Perhaps he is hoping it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas and hoping that despite being naughty, the Las Vegas court system will treat him nice.

Within ten minutes, the grizzled veteran of courtrooms and charges pleaded not guilty to the kidnapping and armed robbery charges of two sports goodies salesmen in a hotel room. He had set a date with destiny, or at least a trial date of April 7, 2008. As he left the courthouse one could almost hear the female voice from his old Hertz car rental ad saying, "Go OJ." Others in the crowd held up signs and suggested more specific place that he might go. How about a little dancing music to get us on our way. Maestro, do you know a tune called, "The courtroom Waltz?"

Dr. Forgot

Against the Wind Slowly

A Marathon Wait

Things happen fast in Las Vegas. I remember a cabbie once telling a couple who had come to town to get married, "I can have you wedded and bedded and back on the plane in two and a half ours." Dealers lay down hands quickly, restaurants try to turn tables as quickly as possible and slot machines spin so fast they make your head spin.

Each year for the more than a decade or so Las has hosted a marathon. Last December the race was won by Joseph Kahugu. His speed brought him winnings of $ 15,000 for a first place finish and an additional $ 50,000 for winning the male-female challenge for a total of $ 65,000. But as a wise sage once said, "Don't spend it all in one place, and Joseph didn't. In fact he didn't spend it at all because he did not receive the money in December, or January, or February, or March, or..... well, you get the idea.

Joseph's agent tried to figure why the delay? Let's see, administrative transactions could cause a delay of up to 45 days. Drug testing could add another couple of weeks to the check should have been in the hand of the male by the end of February. But no check. No mail.

Summer came and went and the temperature rose but Joseph's bank account did not. Finally in November, nearly a year after the victories, the pitter patter of the postman's feet arrived at Joseph's door with the check. And I'm sure the postman rang twice for the delivery. So why the holdup? Was it a male thing? Apparently not for the female winner of the race, Jemima Jelagat (you can call her JJ) just received her money from winning last year's race.

The year before the race a large group took over the race from its founder, Al Boka, a local man who had run it just fine, thank you very much. Locals are quick to point out that when an expert (defined by Mark Twain as somebody who lives more than 50 miles away and carries a briefcase) took over, the race had problems not previously seen. Of course, the sponsors have excuses, which don't pay the rent, but they promise things are now straighted out and a similar problem will not recur. In the meantime the runners, like Forrest Gump, continue to run everywhere they go. A little blogging music, Maestro... Do you know the Wizard of Oz reprise, "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date...."

Dr. Forgot

A Porsche and a Pizza to Go

Yummy Meal - Tummy Fill - What a Deal

When people used to ask me how I like living in Las Vegas I would say, with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek, "Wonderful place to live but I wouldn't want to visit here." Actually, the number of visitors continues to increase and those who just won't go home become permanent residents. There is so much high rise construction that the crane has become our state bird. Las Vegas is a great place to live and has been for the 40 some years I've called it home.

Where else can you go out a 3 a.m. to get a quart of milk and a loaf of bread and put your change in a slot machine? I've never done that but it is comforting to know that I could if I wanted.Where else can you see any act in the world from Celine to the Smothers Brothers? Where else can you walk up the main drag and see a pirate fighting ship, an erupting volcano, dancing waters, the Eiffel Tower, and the Statue of Liberty on the same night? Where else can you walk out of Nieman Marcus, across the street on an overhead walkway, and into one of the world's most stunning hotels, complete with a casino and Ferrari dealership? Las Vegas spoils its residents with the plethora of options for entertainment and uniqueness, and that's just on the Strip.

Thirty minutes to the north you'll find snow skiing. Thirty minutes south you'll find water skiing. And in greater Las Vegas, which includes Henderson, you can find some most interesting sights. Take for example the Ford dealership in Henderson. Lots of dealerships have race cars on site and other gimmicks to draw in customers but that dealership has a draw that keeps nervous car buyers calm and refreshed - a cafe that is called, of course, Mustang Sally's. Ford Country owner Gary Ackerman got the idea of adding the cafe to make the dealership more homey and less threatening to the car buyer. And it worked almost too well. Some locals come into the dealership several times per week to buy - dinner! The concept has worked beyond his expectations. Gary opened a Jaguar and Porsche dealership several years ago and installed a sort of homespun version of Starbucks. I guess it worked so well he decided to expand the menu.

Across town in another venue a large furniture store installed the Courtyard Cafe. Customers, employees, and stragglers through the neighborhood drop by for soups and sandwiches, wraps, salads, and breakfast items complemented with cups of Joe, smoothies, and soft drinks.

The cafe and restaurant is a far cry from professors at the university who bring in pastries and coffee to help get the brain stimulated. But of course, in the case of the professors, it is food for thought.

Dr. Forgot

Hit Me You Stupid Machine

No Aces Up Dealers Sleeves

Old timers like to reflect about how much better the "Good old days" were. You know, back in the days when men were men and women were glad of it. Those same good old days in Las Vegas, according to many old timers, were times when the mob ran the town. It was better then, a lot of them muse. The rules were clear and violation of those rules had consequences and no appeals. In those days casinos were owned by individuals, not corporations, and if you lost your wad, the kindly owner or pit boss would put his arm around your shoulder, comp you dinner, and pick up your tab for the ride home.

Dealers dealt from a single deck and shoes were on their feet, not on the table. And when they talked of gambling on machines, of course they meant slot machines. The town was smaller, friendlier, and everybody knew everybody. Nearly every old timer has a story of a personal contact, however brief, with Ole' Blue Eyes or Sammy, or Deano, or one of the entertainers. Many can remember when two hillbillys from West Virginia with no formal musical training played downtown stages as the Newton Brothers, Wayne and Jerry, and who knew that the guy who played the Last Frontier would one day be president of the USA?

But times change. Howard Hughes started the corporate revolution in the 1960s with the purchase of the Desert Inn followed by the purchase of five other properties on and off the Strip, as well as hundreds of thousands of acres of land that would one day become Summerlin. Hank Greenspun, a newspaper editor bought some land in a not-so-desirable location on the outskirts of town and his sharp son-in-law developed it into Green Valley. Steve Wynn bought the run down Golden Nugget, rehabilitated it, sold it and opened the Mirage, Billagio, and finally the Wynn Las Vegas.

As the town changed, so did gaming itself. Dealers began using shoes that contained multiple decks, making it more difficult for card counters, slot machines changed from reel-type to video and eventually stopped spitting out coins in favor of paper receipts, and gaming spread to other states. The internet spawned online gaming and the World Series of Poker became a television hit. Technology allows corporations to hire fewer people in favor of more machines. Machines are more efficient, dealing 40 hands per hour vs. a human dealer doing 25 hands per hour.

Electronic games require no tip to the dealer, deal faster, never take a sick day, don't sue the company, rarely insult the customer, and almost never make a mistake. Casinos in Las Vegas have been slow to change to electronic poker and other table games but they will be dragged kicking and screaming into the electronic age despite the unions and other Huddites who will try to block the way. One day the old timers will talk about the days when electronic games overtook the town. A little blogging music, maestro.... do you know the Platters version of "Remember When?"

Dr. Forgot

Las Vegas Golf

There are more than two private golf courses in Las Vegas. Green fees range from $ 15 to well into the hundreds depending on the course, time of day, and time of year as well as other factors. Below is our "Blackjack List" of 21 of the more popular courses.

Aliente
Angel Park Cloud Nine Short
Angel Park Mountain
Angel Park Palm
Badlands
Bali Hai
Black Mountain
Desert Pines
Red Rock
Reflections Bay
Revere (Concord and Lexington)
Royal Links
Rhodes Ranch
Siena
Silverstons
Stallion Mountain
The Falls
The Legacy
TPC at The Canyons
Tuscany
Wildhorse

Las Vegas Strip Hotels

The "Strip" is considered to be Las Vegas Boulevard between Sahara Avenue and Russell Road. Between Sahara Avenue and Spring Mountain Road the major Strip hotels include:

Sahara
Riviera
Circus Circus
Wynn

From Spring Mountain/Sands to Flamingo Road Strip hotels include:

Venitian
Treasure Island (TI)
Mirage
Harrahs
Flamingo
Caesars Palace

From Flamingo Road to Tropicana Avenue Strip Hotels Include:

Ballys
Bellagio
Paris Las Vegas
Planet Hollywood
Monte Carlo
MGM Grand
New York New York

From Tropicana Avenure to Russell Road Strip Hotels include:
Tropicana
Excalibur
Luxor
Mandalay Bay

Other smaller hotels are along the Strip and some of those listed contain hotels within the hotels but those listed are the majot "Strip" Hotels, none of which, ironically, lie within the Las Vegas city limits.

Downtown Hotels:
The downtown area, sometimes referred to as Glitter Gulch, is essentially the first six blocks of Fremont Street. This is the city's most historic and oldest area.

Plaza
Las Vegas Club
Sal Sagev (makes sense if you're dyslexic)
Four Queens
Golden Nugget
El Cortez

Other smaller hotels and casinos can be found in the downtown area, but the ones listed are considered the majot downtown hotels.